Guard Frequency Episode 228 | No Jump For You

Cits and Civs, Captains and Commanders, you’re tuned to episode 228 of Guard Frequency — the best damn space sim podcast ever! This episode was recorded on September 7th 2018 and released for streaming and download on Tuesday, September 11th 2018 at

[Download this episode]

In this week’s flight deck we bring you all the headlines from simulated space including the latest news from: Elite Dangerous, Star Citizen, Helium Rain and Starflight 3 Next, we’ll get the news from the deep black with Spencer McDunn on Galactic Public Radio. After that we continue our audio adventure, Guard Frequency Origins, where the team discovers a magical door of wonder… for real this time.

Finally, we open up the feedback loop and let you join in on the fun.

Lace up your booties, campers, it’s time to head out to the Flight Deck.

Community Question

Were you affected by the bugs and poor planning of the Gnosis event? What do you think can be done to improve so called spontaneous events?

We got patches!

Join us in-game!

Priority One Productions are always looking for new team members that have a passion for space sims. Please know that all of our positions are volunteer, but we do offer a well known outlet for your work. If you have a particular skill that you believe could enhance our content, then send your contact information and experience along with a few writing samples to

You can also follow us on the social media sites! We’re on Facebook! Head over to and say “hi!”, or check us out on Twitter via @guardfreq for details of our show times and other fun stuff.

Liked this episode? Totally hated it? Leave a comment below, Contact Us using our handy web form or leave your comments on the Roberts Space Industries forums!

Thanks to Ronald Jenkees for his permission to use his music in our show. Visit for more of his work! Enjoy the show!






5 responses to “Guard Frequency Episode 228 | No Jump For You”

  1. seannewboy Avatar

    Does the game Helium Rain have a cool video like the song Chocolate Rain?

    Wonderful show everyone.

    I hope the Galactic Public Radio team makes it out all right.

    Good job on actually dialoguing with people rather than just shooting them in the rpg.

    1. Justin Lowmaster Avatar

      I have sung my own version of that, but no video of it.

  2. H Alan Avatar
    H Alan

    Thanks for finding my post Tony, paranoia level is dropping.

    To the community question about improvements to spontaneous events. “Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.” I know, it’s an oxymoron to plan for spontaneity, but read me out here. If the parameters or requirements or capabilities available to an event are established and distributed, then a spontaneous event that falls within those guidelines is less likely to fail. I like to think of this as putting 10 pounds of in a 5 pound bag. But as a sage M.A.S.H character,
    Col. Sherman T. Potter noted of western story writer Zane Grey, “Never go up against seven cowboys when all you’re packin’ is a six shooter.” The knucklehead gunfighter didn’t know the parameters of the spontaneous gunfight and failed. If he only had some floor wax.

  3. PreachMan Avatar

    Just got caught up on the podcast, so this feedback may seem a bit all over the place. 🙁
    I bought my first PC in ’85 to write papers for grad school. It was a Tandy 1000–a powerhouse of a machine rockin’ a 8086, 128k of RAM, a single-sided 5 1/4 floppy drive and Tandy 16 color graphics! I burned a lot of hours outside of class with the original Starflight. So you can imagine my pleasure at hearing that Starflight III is in the works. Thanks for sharing cool gems like that! Oh, and the Tandy still boots, if you were curious. . .
    As a long time listener (WTFIDFM?), I find myself enjoying the newest format, which I started out thinking of as the “un-Star Citizen” edition of the BDSPCE, way more than I expected. Don’t do ED, but have been enjoying you guys enjoying it, along with all the other SpaceSim news, including –it’s only fair to say–Star Citizen. The RGP is great fun as well.
    Tony is in good company when he laments that CIG is holding back content for CitCon. As a counterpoint, I’d offer this. We asked them to do that–Do you remember the copious amounts of salt that got leveled at CIG after CitCon 2016. The Spectrum Presentation. Or the elation after last year’s CitCon presentations? The Community has clearly stated a preference for ‘Wow us at CitCon.” It seems unfair to them for us to complain about their preparations to do just that. Not saying they’re always right, but when the community asks them to do things–an ALLLLLLLL-the-ships pack, let me melt Voyager direct stuff, etc, and they then do it, it seems disingenuous of us to complain afterward cause they did it. Or so it seems to me.
    .One last thing: As I think Tony has already said, gnosis is a greek work that is often translated as knowledge. There’s a 2nd Century Christian Heresy that gets its name from the same word, but I digress. It’s pronounced with a silent ‘g;–think “gnu.”
    Thanks for a great show. I think my favorite part is that you all know how to disagree, have passionate opinions and arguments, and still remain friends who have fun and respect each other when it’s all done–Tony, you ignorant slut notwithstanding. Thanks! Keep up the good work! I’m looking forward to listening for a long time to come. o7

  4. Clown Bobo Avatar
    Clown Bobo

    Citizencon 2948 – Reporting from the Future / After the Fact

    Good evening.

    Since this reporter’s last communique the atmosphere in Austin Texas has taken on a decidedly stranger and more frenetic feel.

    Just outside the main entrance a water slide into a portable dumpster designated “Garbage Compactor 3263827” was erected and filled with water. Passersby encouraged to throw pieces of discarded foam rubber and other plastics into the dumpster until it overflowed. After a brief introduction, Jared “Disco Lando” Huckaby, dressed in light white garb reminiscent of a young Luke Skywalker, ascended the ladder and was seated upon a hinged platform secured by a triggering mechanism attached to a scaled bucket. Water balloons were sold for $6 each or four for $20.

    Back inside the building I joined a queue of a dozen fans at a vending machine dispensing $9 styrofoam noodle cups featuring the name ‘Big Benny’ scrawled upon the top in magic marker. As we waited ship advertisements from previous years’ events played on a projection screen overhead. There was periodic cheering and laughter from outside.

    The advertisements abruptly went to black and then there was Chris Roberts standing in front of a green screen dressed in an outfit approximating Norse battle armour. He wore an eyepatch which was flipped up onto his forehead and was attempting to juggle three small boxes painted blue to resemble tesseracts. He was engaged in conversation with someone just far enough off camera that we couldn’t clearly hear her, though we could hear Chris’ responses.

    “No. … No, no. At least $20 each. … And we could probably get twice that.”
    “No! They are NOT loot boxes. … You really need to stop saying that.”

    It was then that the sodden Lando squished past our line, a phalanx of boisterous fans in tow. His costume was in tatters, down to the briefest of swim trunks. His head turned down, he waved off the jibes and catcalls then quickly ducked behind a curtain into the backstage area.

    “You don’t understand.” Chris continued on the screen above, “this isn’t EA, and besides, we aren’t even in Belgium.”

    When I return next week we will look deeper into how poor quality control can help facilitate accepting compliments more effectively.

    And that’s the way it is. I’m Bobo Cronkite, good night.

    Disclaimer: Wait 30 minutes after eating before entering the pool. CPR should never be attempted by untrained or functionally impaired personnel. Always check water depth before diving.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Stay on the guard

© Priority One Productions LLC